Boiling Frog Syndrome

We often do things because that is the way it has always been done. We stay with the same people because they are the people we have been around for years. We look at things in a particular way because that is how we have always thought about it.

We rarely take stock of our lives, our relationships, our habits.

And we rarely even think about the need to make changes.

Oftentimes we have taken up occupations that we may not enjoy much. The working environment is not conducive or we may be doing things that we are not interested in. A good number of hours every day are not put to optimal use and the output is not be as good. Not only are we dissatisfied with life but the organization also suffers as we may not put in the right effort.

In our personal lives as well, we may often be in a relationship that drains us. It could be with one’s partners, within the family or among friends. It could be people that belittle us, take advantage of or abuse us (intentionally or un-intentionally). We may not even think twice about it but such relationships often undermine our own sense of confidence and self-worth.

It is important to do one’s best in the workplace or try hard to make relationships work – but it is critical that one occasionally takes stock of things.

Sometimes it is necessary, for one’s own happiness and wellbeing, to face the situation and make informed and rational decisions to accept change.

And it may be necessary to make the change when one still has the energy to do so.

Am sharing below a story about the Boiling Frog Syndrome. I found it interesting and I hope that you will not only find it interesting but it will also help you embrace change, when needed.

The Boiling Frog Syndrome
Put a frog in a vessel of water and start heating the water.

As the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly.

The frog keeps on adjusting with increase in temperature… Just when the water is about to reach the boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore…

At that point the frog decides to jump out…

The frog tries to jump but is unable to do so, because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature. Very soon the frog dies.

What killed the frog?

Many of us would say the boiling water…

But the truth is that what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump out.

We all need to adjust with people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to confront/face.

There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate action.

If we allow people to exploit us physically, mentally, emotionally or financially, they will continue to do so.

We have to decide when to jump.

Let us jump while we still have the strength!

As good as it gets

With the advent of every new year, I have the greatest of hopes – that life will get better and things will get easier. That relationships will become more meaningful and that I will be happier. Lots of hopes and aspirations – in the future.

But recently when I reflected on this, I realized that every year I am also growing older. Every year my parents are getting more frail. The children are growing up and will one day start their own lives – separate lives.

   And while that brings in hopes for more joy, there is also a feeling of sadness in that.

And who know where I will be tomorrow? What kind of things will come my way? Will I even be there to enjoy it?

I am forever looking to the future. Or at greener pastures. That I sometimes forget to really look at the present.

That maybe this is when my life is truly at its best. That things are the easiest. That my relationships are truly meaningful.

                                         Maybe this really is as good as it gets.

Tolerance

The world today is rifted in strife. When one switches on the television or picks up the newspaper, one is always flooded with news about wars and calamities. Everywhere around the world - at all times, there is tension, there is conflict, and there is unhappiness.

One wonders why that is so. Ultimately, I think, it boils down to one thing.

Tolerance.

One simple word.  

One profound attitude.

Tolerance is the ability to accept or be patient with the beliefs, opinions or practices of others.

I believe that it is the lack of tolerance among most people that is the root of so much problems and tension in the world. When one believes that one is right and that one knows more and is better than the others – it often leads to intolerance for other people’s views and opinions. It does not leave space for people to be different, to be special each in their own way. It does not create a platform for people to co-exist in harmony.

In our personal relationships as well - if we cannot agree to disagree, if we cannot respect the views, thoughts and opinions of people around us, then there will be no true harmony.

Tolerance is a vital ingredient to every happy and healthy relationship. It is a core element of Buddhism – the willingness to allow others to hold different views from ourselves and to allow them to be different in their views and actions.

Tolerance is an important attitude that we each need to cultivate so that we can have happier relationships and live together harmonious in our one world.