Giver of Life

 

Flowing smoothly from glaciers
through the veins of dragons
continuously in motion
effortlessly - endlessly
white and shimmering
light and weightless
sparkling pure
free, yet most precious
giver of life
the crystal clear waters of the Himalayas

Change

A human life seems like a long time.

If one lives to a good old age which now seems to be in the 70 years, we are talking about 900 months or 27,000 days or 648,000 hours or so. That seems like a long time. And as we go through it day by day, it appears that it is going slowly.

However, the minutes are ticking and our life is quickly passing us by - though often we don’t realize it. We look forward to our birthdays and new year – with joy and anticipation. We don’t think that with every birthday and every new year, we are moving quickly to middle age and old age and towards the inevitable.

That is not to say that it is a bad thing.

With age comes knowledge and wisdom. With age comes scrapbooks and photo albums filled with a lifetime of memories. And hopefully they are good memories. Hopefully we can look back, during the last leg of our lives, and say that ‘I am happy, my life has been well lived.’

 

We don’t often see the changes that take place, some small and some big, but changes nevertheless. In living our lives we sometimes get caught up in the small things and often forget about the larger picture. We often take for granted those who matter to us, assuming that they will always be there. It is only when children leave the homes to spread their wings and fly or new babies are born or people die that we realize that change is happening.

And that is fine – because change is inevitable.

The important thing is for us to realize that change is happening all the time and that life really is impermanent. It is important for us to sometimes take stock of our values, our expectations, of the people we hold dear, of the choices we make daily – and to see how we want to go from there. It is necessary to look to each day and see how we can make it worthwhile so that at the very end, we can truly say that our life has been worthwhile.

It has been a happy and well lived life.

As good as it gets

With the advent of every new year, I have the greatest of hopes – that life will get better and things will get easier. That relationships will become more meaningful and that I will be happier. Lots of hopes and aspirations – in the future.

But recently when I reflected on this, I realized that every year I am also growing older. Every year my parents are getting more frail. The children are growing up and will one day start their own lives – separate lives.

   And while that brings in hopes for more joy, there is also a feeling of sadness in that.

And who know where I will be tomorrow? What kind of things will come my way? Will I even be there to enjoy it?

I am forever looking to the future. Or at greener pastures. That I sometimes forget to really look at the present.

That maybe this is when my life is truly at its best. That things are the easiest. That my relationships are truly meaningful.

                                         Maybe this really is as good as it gets.

The only thing certain about life is death ...

We go through life as though we will live forever, as though we are invincible. But the only thing that is certain about life is death. This is the truth for all people, no matter who they are and where they live.

And yet in our living, we rarely think about our own vulnerabilities or the fact that our last day, last moment, last breath may already be here.

We seldom take the time to appreciate the sunrise and acknowledge the joy of seeing another day. We do not think that this present moment that you are spending with your loved one, could in fact be the last one – here on this earth, and maybe forever.

We are often so caught up in our own lives, in our own problems and challenges, in our own belief systems and thought processes, in our own righteousness. We live our lives believing in our indestructability – or not even thinking about it at all. We rarely think of life as a gift – a blessing – and an opportunity to actually try and get out of the wheel of the samsara.

For those of us who have actually thought about death – I am sure that we would like to hope that when the time comes for us to pass, it will happen at a far off day, in a warm bed and surrounded by loved ones. We would like to believe that we are ready to go, that we have finished all our unfinished businesses. That we have lived a happy and satisfying life and we are ready for the ‘great move on’.

However, death can catch up with us at the most unexpected of times and places. It is not always the old who are the first to go. Accidents, natural calamities, health calamities such as heart attacks and strokes, boulders falling on people etc – are common occurrences and they do not differentiate between the young and the old. ‘Time and tide wait for no man’, so said Shakespeare – and many times it is also the young people who have to make the early exit.

And when it is time to go, you are alone. You cannot take the possessions you have accumulated over your lifespan. And despite the number of friends you may have made or the large extended family that you may have, when the time comes to walk across the realms – you have the make this journey by yourself.

And that is why I feel it is so important for everyone to occasionally reflect on life and on death. To try not take life for granted but rather to take stock of how you are living and to try and life in a way that you will have no regrets.

And for that you don’t need to make the dramatic changes – just try and live one day at a time  - be the best person that you can be - be good, be kind, be compassionate - so that every evening when you go to bed and you reflect on your day, you are satisfied with the way you have lived the day.

Cumulatively, these individual days will become a life well lived.

Life is a journey, not a destination

This is one advice my father often gives me. When I am rushing through life and trying to get everything done, he says life is a journey and not a destination. Try and enjoy the little moments – for it is ultimately these moments that we will remember and cherish.

Yesterday, some friends and I were on our way down to Phuentsholing from Thimphu and down the Chukha road, which I remember in my childhood calling the ‘snake road’ – due to the winding and never ending curves. Small waterfalls were flowing at the side of the road and further down the valley a number of mountains, greens of different shade, were rolling into each other, enveloped by soft white clouds.

We continued our journey, winding down the Thimphu-Phuentsholing highway through changing vegetation and passing by small landslides and fallen boulders. As we passed through Gedu the air became heavier and we were surrounded in mist. Thick shrouding mist – greyish white all around - we could barely see 10 feet ahead of us.

Just when I thought that our journey would be likewise gloomy all the way to Phuentsholing, we arrived at Jumja – the unstable stretch of land where landslides often obstructs the journey of many travellers. I have travelled on the highway many times, but it was my first time being awed by the magnificence and splendour of the scene.

The sky was serenely blue – stretching all the way across the plains where it seemed to shimmer and blend into the horizon. Below in the valley, a soft milk-white blanket of clouds covered the plains and puffed all the way into the distance. Blending with the blue, some clouds above were swirling and it was as though a whirlpool of white on a blue canvas.

I was above the clouds and I was below the clouds – I was in the clouds.



It was no longer important why I was going down to Phuentsholing. Or what I was leaving behind in Thimphu. It was just me and the wide expanse of the sky. Me and the embrace of the clouds. I felt free – simply enjoying the moment for what it was.

And in that moment I recalled the words of my father – that life is a journey and we must try and enjoy it to the fullest.

Silent voices

In the darkest of the night
the only sound there is –
is the silent voices in my head

Far from continuous drone of TV
and idle chatters
Away from the bustle of life
and trivial matters

In the dark of the night
it is just me
and the silent voices in my head

Voices that speak loud and clear
that weigh my thoughts
and every action
that weigh my deeds
and every inaction.

So no matter to it all
the friends and the work
and the business of everyday living

In the end it is the silent voices
that I must reckon with
in the blackest of the night.

Dreams

You wander often in my dreams

Fragments from my distant memories

Like images in a kaleidoscope

At once clearing my vision

And clouding my thoughts

Filling me with a deep longing

A yearning in the depths of my soul

For something that would never be

For something that could never be

In this illusionary world of dreams

Your warm breath mists my thoughts

Your presence fills me with warmth and hope

And when it is time for us to part

For our story to come to an end

A deep sadness fills my being

A yearning in the depths of my soul

For something that would never be

For something that could never be

It has been so many months since my last entry. Somehow time seems to just fly by. I got caught up in my day to day activities and despite my efforts to write on a more regular basis - I somehow forgot to write. I even forgot that I had a blog!

Its good to be back again though. Good to be in a place where I can occassionally pen down my thoughts and reflect on my life and write about the things I see around me and what they make me feel.

Its been great to look back at my past entries and to see the things I felt at a certain stage in my life and think about where I'm heading. Very often we are so busy - just moving without taking the time to reflect or think about wh ether we are truly happy about where we are going. So that me for today - just reflecting....

Breaking Bricks

If you are willing to look around and reflect on life’s lessons, you will find that there are lessons for learning everywhere. You can find it in your interactions with people, in your observations of nature and in everything that is happening around you at all times. 

Interestingly, you can even find it in the games on your phone.

Waiting outside the dentist’s chamber can be quite an ordeal. I sat there this morning, overwhelmed by the large number of people who were waiting patiently (and impatiently) around me, and feeling slightly apprehensive about what would invariably happen once I got to the dentist chair.

So to ease my mind and to pass the time, I took out my phone to play a game. The only game that is there on my phone is the Brick Breaker. I don’t know if you have ever tried it but it is quite an addictive game. Basically there is a wall of bricks on the top of the screen which the player must smash by deflecting a bouncing ball with a paddle. The player can move the paddle around horizontally to keep the ball on the screen and to aim at the bricks above.

The idea is to destroy all the bricks and advance onto a new level. At times when you hit certain bricks there are special points that shower down and if you can catch it you get certain benefits like an extra life, or more bouncing balls etc. While the latter is good (it helps to destroy many more bricks all at once), it also results in a chaotic situation. I found that by trying to save all the balls, one ends up missing all the others and before one knows it, there are none left on the screen and one life is lost.

This happened a few times before I came to the realization that it was far better to have one ball on the screen and to slowly (and with precision) target all the bricks one by one, rather than to juggle too many balls at once, lose focus and ultimately lose a life.

So, not surprisingly, the lesson I took from the dentist’s chamber this morning was not only that one should not indulge in eating too many sweets but that:  It is better to focus on one thing at a time and do it well rather than focus on many things and have little to show for it in the end.

For Today

This morning as I was driving to work, I looked up and suddenly saw the mountains. They were all around me – gentle sloping hills that rose to greet the clear blue sky. Ancient and sturdy, they had been here all the while but somewhere along the way I did not see them. 

I looked around and saw soft cotton-like clouds that dotted the sky and lime green willow trees and pink peach blossoms lining the streets. Where had I been all this while? When did winter blossom into spring?

Thinking about it, I realize that often times we are not a part of the present moment. Every moment we are either living in the past or in the future. We are thinking of what we should have done and having regrets of the past or we are worrying about the future – about what could happen and what should be done.

And before we know it, this Present moment which was spent worrying or planning has become a part of the Past and we are already in the Future – and we are not sure where the Present moment actually went.

Minutes go into hours, days into months and our time is going by fast – and all the while our present is lost.

So I say to myself – forget about the yesterdays, forget about the tommorows – think only of Today and of what I can do to make it worthwhile and memorable.

So for Today I will take deep breaths – and let the clear mountain air flow into my body giving me energy and hope. I will breathe out slowly and release all the tension and negative energy.  I will enjoy the companionship of my friends and family. I will try and bring smiles to the people around me. I will try to make a difference (even if it is small one) to at least one person. I will give thanks for all the blessings in my life. 

I will look around and see the gifts of nature. I will see the mountains and the clouds, smell the fragrance of the flowers and taste the freshness of the mountain water. 

For Today, I will live my life meaningfully.

Autumn

Autumn

Leaves falling

    In the evening light

Autumn